Leadership Influence vs Selling

Author : , Date : January 5, 2016


New Year’s is always a time of hope! It’s kind of like a new season of the NFL. It’s that magical time where every team feels they have a shot at the Super Bowl. Until they start playing the games.

leadership-influence-versus-sellingHave you ever just sat and thought long and deep about where your business is at and where you want it to be? My guess is you probably have and you’re not satisfied with where you are at.

Perhaps your business is a few years old and it feels like things are never going to change. You’re chasing cash just so that you can pay your debts and have a few dollars to go see Star Wars (which was a fantastic movie). That few moments of escape relieves you for a short time from the stress. You crave relief if only for a few moments so that you can feel like yourself again.

Perhaps your business is doing okay, but it could do so much better. You’ve spent a lot of time and money on your website, social media and you’re going to do a few new strategies this year; only to see January go and then you’re right back in the middle of the season picking-up where you left off in December.

No matter where you are in your business, this is a great time to learn, evaluate, and make the necessary changes to ensure your short and long-term success!

What is the difference between a team (business) that is successful and one that is not?

I’ll summarize it one word: INFLUENCE!

Let’s be honest for just a brief moment.

It doesn’t really matter “WHAT” you do if you don’t know for real “WHY” you’re doing it. If you don’t know “why” then the “HOW” just doesn’t matter.


What is Influence?


Influence is nothing more than being able to attract a group of people who hear a message, relate to the message, coalesce around the message and take action.

It’s leadership!

Many people believe that leadership is something one has or doesn’t have. But that’s not true. Leadership is developed and then it’s earned. The ones who appear to “have it” are merely individuals who are charismatic. They may or may not be leaders.

Leaders influence people to take action and then lead them through it.


Characteristics of Leadership and How it Applies to Marketing


Allow me to share 7 ideas of what I believe leaders do:


  • Leaders ensure that people not only see the vision; they live it themselves and inspires others to live it alongside them.
  • Leaders learn how to understand people, get into their shoes and then exude positive energy and optimism.
  • Leaders establish trust and competency with candor, transparency, and credit.
  • Leaders have the courage to make unpopular decisions and gut calls.
  • Leaders probe and push with a curiosity that borders on skepticism, making sure their questions are answered with actions.
  • Leaders inspire risk taking and learning by setting the example.
  • Leaders celebrate.


Can you see why leadership is developed?

Now, these principles apply to every single area of your business and life and these are the principles that I personally live by. But how does it apply to marketing?

For one, you have to earn your audience. You have to know and understand your audience’s problems, needs or desires and DEMONSTRATE to them that you are the one who can help them.

Over the last week I have seen a lot of new websites revamped. Some are by people that I network with both online and offline and I admire them and their work beyond measure.

I want to share with you why some of those websites fall flat and are void of any influence and it’s for one simple reason:

It says that it’s all about them, not their audience

When I see “I”, “I”, “I”, “we”, “we” all through the text there is an immediate problem. Leaders rarely speak in first person and the focus is never on them.

The focus is always on the message!

What is a Message?


I’m going to be talking about this in a webinar coming up on January 21st, so I hope you’ll check it out.

A message is a highly specific, highly tailored form of communication that solves one problem, meets one need or fulfills one desire for one person in any one piece of content.

Recently I had someone say to me that what I’m asking for on “Home” page is impossible.

It’s not impossible when you go through a process that helps you identify what your message “really” is.

This is hard, no question. That’s why this is a form of leadership. Leadership and influencing is not EASY!

Sylviane Nuccio is a current client that is in process and about a month ago she said; “I could never do this on my own.”

After several weeks we had identified:


  • Numerous tangible values that her clients experience and how they felt about the experience after having worked with her.
  • The highly specific problems that she solved for each tangible value
  • Who she “specifically” solves each problem for


We then looked at each problem and I asked her to write one word next to the problem that explains or describes that problem. We then took all the words (I think there was around 30-40 words), grouped them and did it again until there was only a few words left that encompassed all of them.

By the time we were done she had a full, working definition of the “business she is ‘really’ in” and and a new foundation to understand her business and message.

I’m not going to share it with you her work just yet, I’m going to let Sylviane share it with you in the near future when she takes all the hard work she has done and is ready to show it to the world in her website. I will say this; it’s impressive what she came up with!

What Sylviane has done is learn how to start talking to her audience (the one’s she really wants to attract) in a way that relates to them and is about them. It’s not about her. She will have a home page that talks directly to her audience’s needs.

It’s not about “I”, “we” or “me”. It’s about THEM!

Leadership always puts the point of emphasis on others and when we create dynamic content through our core message that is repeated over-and-over again about the impact we can make through helping others we create influence.

Subconsciously, and sometimes consciously, people know when it’s about them or it’s about me (or you).

People always are interested in themselves and their needs. That’s why they want to learn from you, talk with you or buy from you; because they felt that you understood them!

That’s a function of leadership and influence.

Just to bring the point home, In a recent IBM study, 90 percent of marketers agree that personalizing the customer experience is critical to their success. Despite this widespread agreement, nearly 80 percent of consumers stated that the average brand doesn’t understand them as an individual. (Access the study on the Begin Here page)

Influence always has a message behind it that is about the audience.

When you have a great message it brings sales without you ever having to present yourself as “salesy”. Sales doesn’t have to be hard if you’ve created the influence necessary to win over your audience.

Do you have it?

If not, do you want it?

If so, Click here or on the image below of the book cover to get a free copy of my eBook titled “The Shift – Making the Fast Paced Transition from Mass Marketing to Context Marketing




Do you have thoughts, ideas or questions? If so, please leave share with me below in the comments and let’s chat. I would love to engage with you! 

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Don Purdum

Don Purdum

Don works with businesses to help them discover who their customers are and what business they are "really" in. He is an award-winning blogger and branding / marketing consultant.
Don Purdum
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30 thoughts on “Leadership Influence vs Selling

  1. Hi Dee Ann,

    As an Army Chaplain I had an opportunity to meet many one to four star Generals. In each case they all said to me that their leadership skills were acquired through training, experience and reflection.

    It’s definitely acquired. Many times we confuse leadership for charisma and they are not the same things.

    I really enjoyed our time together Dee Ann. It is really all about others and has nothing to do with “me.” Great leadership always takes into account others first and foremost.

    Sylviane did a great job! I’m excited for her.

    Thanks so much Dee Ann for a great comment!!!

    ~ Don

  2. Don,

    I have always thought that leadership is a learned skill. Just like everything with everything else some people are more natural leaders but they still have to learn how to be the right kind of leader.

    In marketing part of what a leader needs to learn is how to attract the right audience for the product or service that is being offered. I think many times we attract an audience but that audience does not get us anywhere because it is the wrong audience.

    I know that I learned a lot about this when I did my coaching with you. I was not even speaking to the right audience in order to achieve my goals.

    I really like where you talk about what we say when talking to our audience.

    People do not want to hear the leader talk about themselves instead they want to hear what can be done for them or what the product is going to do for them. I think that is what so impressed me when I was deciding to hire you as my coach. You talked about me and my problem and how I could solve it.

    Great to hear that Sylviane is making great progress. Excited to see her end result.

    Dee Ann

  3. Hello from Thailand Don,

    I just love this topic as way too many folks hate the very concept of “selling”.

    This dread or perhaps more correctly the fear of selling probably came about from their past poor experiences with “salespeople” but it also sadly shows how ignorant people can be.

    Sure we all hate to be sold to but we all love to buy things!

    There are countless times in our lives when we are excited, grateful and completely relieved if someone solves a problem or a challenge we are facing. And if we paid for that solution then guess what – we were sold to!

    However, no one thinks badly about this experience and in fact they may well go out of their way to promote the services of that particular person to all and sundry. – but it rarely crosses their mind that they were dealing with a “salesperson!”

    That’s why your post is so valuable Don. The value (perceived or otherwise) that a user has with us is greatly determined by the message we send out. This message, as you so rightly point out, shows both your competency and your leadership.

    We all need to accept that we have to create and show leadership in our busines – not just hide behind our keyboard and hope like mad people will accept our offer based on all the wonderful benefit-laden bullet points you have created on your sales page.

    Sadly many online marketers have not got “this message yet” – they live in their own little online world thinking that leadership is somehing that relates to corporations or politicians.

    How wrong can they be and they probably are also wondering why their business is not achieving the success they believe is due to them after all their hard work.

    As a marketer you don’t have to “sell” anything if you create the vision and the influence required to convert your audience.

    I must admit that this will always be “work in progreess” for me and there are so many things I still need to do to ensure my website visitors are getting the right message from me.

    One of my main takeaway was that your “message is the driver of your business” – get this wrong and the most expensive sales funnels on the planet will not stop your business from sliding into failure.

    Powerful stuff indeed Don.

    Best wishes from a remote Thai village blogger/salesman/leader


    1. Hi Peter,

      Great to see you again and thank you for your thoughtfulness!!!

      So many struggle at sales because they confuse it with marketing and blend the two together. If ones marketing is done well then sales will not be as difficult.

      Our message sets sales up because what we message is relevant to the audience. That requires leadership (both personal and professional) as I shared in the article.

      Fantastic comment Peter. I think I’m going to let your thoughts stand on their own merit.

      Thanks again for sharing your insights!!!!

      Have a great weekend.

      ~ Don

  4. Hi Don

    What a great post to kick off with for 2016.

    I love the topic of influencer marketing. In fact, I’ve just finished reading a post on Donna Merril’s site on this very topic.

    Indeed, I know that when people have influence with a person or a group of people sales are much easier to make. I guess we all know it instinctively, but it amazes me why relatively few people embrace the concept, and just go for it.

    As you say messaging is part of the influence building jigsaw puzzle. It needs to be relevant to our audience and of course, it needs to show social proof and prove know how or competence.

    Sorry, I can’t attend your webinar, but the time zone is out of whack with mine. Good luck with it, not that you’ll need it.


    1. Hi Kim,

      I agree, but I think many are intimidated by the idea of communicating with people who are more successful than they are! They fail to realize they have something that anyone can benefit from and that we are all just human.

      No problem on the webinar at all. I realize you’re all the way around the world.

      I so wanted to ask you on Facebook on New Year’s Eve what the future looked like? LOL…

      Happy New Year Kim!

      ~ Don

  5. Hi Don,

    This is the way it works online…. build authority, get recognition, deliver a message that demonstrates that you can help people solve their problems.

    It’s a simple process, but yes, leaders do the detailed work to make the process effective.

    Followers are often casual about it. If you’re casual, your business will move forward ever so slowly.

    As you pick up the pace, nice things start to happen 🙂

    I work a lot with my “message” all the time because in addition to blogging, I’m also creating information products all the time, and when it’s time to promote via sales pages, emails etc… it’s not the quality of my product that counts, but the message I convey to people about the product.

    So, again, you need all the pieces working simultaneously.


    1. Hi Donna,

      While the process is simple the arriving at the answers for most is not. The leaders are the ones who will take the time to think, fight through it and go deeper than they ever imagined.

      Like you said, the followers are casual about it and end up going away at some point because they don’t have the willingness or time to develop the skills they need in order to succeed.

      But you’re right; as you figure out the message and build influence you build momentum and with each passing month it gets easier and easier to do.

      And as you said; all the pieces start working together and then the real fun begins!

      Happy New Year Donna!!!! I hope you have a wonderful week.

      ~ Don

  6. Wooo Weeee! Don, you already know that this blog post has gotten me charged up bud. I want to personally thank you for helping me get clearer on my business goals and who I am targeting with my new brand.

    I have to say, that since your session, I am finding myself starting almost all of my content off stressing the importance of target marketing + messaging.

    Thanks for everything and best wishes to you this year.

    1. Hi Kim,

      Get charged, get pumped; and let’s go build some world class companies!!!!! You are so welcome my friend. It has been my great joy to work with you and I’m privileged to know you.

      Can’t wait to see how your business unfolds and remember; I’m always here for you!

      Happy New Year

      ~ Don

  7. Hey Don
    Very inspiring post. I must admit that I have not really focused my website in the past, and it is something I need to get onto. I have kinda ignored it though as I am getting the majority of my clients via personal meetings and referrals. And we can’t do it all, right?
    But despite that, I see some easy wins on my website just from rephrasing some of my services and main areas on the home page. So thanks for the wake up call.
    great stuff

    1. Hi Ashley,

      I actually get many of my clients the same way but what has happened is that my prospects come onto my site and my site pulls them over the top. In addition, the clients I get online typically come through my blog where they read it for some time and then one day initiate contact. It takes time and now that my site is 18 months old I’m finding a steadier number of prospects and new clients coming through it every week.

      I’m working on adding some new services myself over the next few weeks and my site is the catalyst for communicating those services.

      Thanks for the kind words and I’m glad I could jar your thinking!!!!

      Have a great weekend Ashley!!!

      ~ Don

  8. Hi Don,

    Happy New Year to you!

    You shared some interesting points here…

    I’ve been thinking about revamping my home page for some time and I can see how bad it would be to have all the “I, I, I, and me, me, me” running through it. I just checked my current version and whilst there is plenty of “You and your” there is still some of the “I” in there. But I think in ‘natural conversation’ (as opposed to ‘marketing terms’) it would be natural to say “You have problem x and I have the solution for it”?

    I already have your book Don, and I will endeavour to join your webinar in order to learn more on this topic.

    Thanks for this timely message.
    – David

    1. Hi David,

      Happy New Year to you as well!!!!

      The key to a great home page is just ensuring that it is addressing the audience directly and relevantly. In my opinion, a home page isn’t for conversation, is for stimulation… lol. I want them to move quickly to where they need to be based on what they need and what they are looking for.

      The solution will be found in another place. For me it’s on the Begin Here page or in an article or video.

      I’m excited you will be on the webinar! I can’t wait to see you there and thanks for joining me!!!!

      ~ Don

  9. Hi Don,

    Very timely post for me.

    It’s a new year and I’ve been taking inventory of the events of last year, in addition to my goals for this year.
    Your message has really done a lot for me.

    Echoing Sherman, your posts encourage me to ask myself if I’m communicating with my audience in a way that will benefit THEM.

    I will admit that I’m in the midst of changing the theme of my own website, so don’t be surprised the next time you visit :). My reason though is because I wanted something cleaner – something that looked more like a blog. I’m still wet behind the ears when it comes to themes and design – and the one I chose to start my website with (less than 6 mos ago) didn’t have the functions I felt I needed.

    I’d like to think I relate to those who visit my blog – and they can feel that from me. We grow and learn to place ourselves in other’s shoes when we can. We build compassion and want to help those who struggle with the things we’ve struggled with and found solutions for.

    I signed up and am looking forward to your webinar. I still have to read your second book – and I’ll get started on this tonight.

    You laid out how to REALLY get in touch with what business you’re in in “The Shift”. I’m looking forward to what the latest one has to teach me.

    I’m glad to know you and I wish you a fantastic rest of the week.

    1. Hi Dana,

      You are definitely off to a great start and are building momentum. I know a lot of people who can benefit from your blog and I will be sharing it with them personally.

      I’m excited that you will be on the webinar. Dana, you are going to learn so much and see how all of this comes together. It’s one thing to see it on my website, it’s another to see it in practice!!!!!!! You got a glimpse of it in my first eBook “The Shift…”

      I’m glad to know you as well and thank you for your encouragement. It means a great deal!

      Have an awesome end to your week!

      ~ Don

  10. Hey Don

    Happy New Year!

    It’s great to be back reading your posts again after the holidays.

    Everyone I read your blog posts it always have me asking what I can do to be more specific and relative towards my audience.

    Influence is the goal and without it, all you have is a hobby. If there’s a way for you to make your audience “tick” then you started the process of influence, and becoming the pied piper of blogging.

    Thanks for sharing Don and I look forward what you’ll bring to us for the rest of the year!

    1. Hi Sherman,

      Happy New Yea! I still can’t believe we are a week into 2016. Where has the time gone? It’s good to be back after several weeks of rest, reflection, strategy, planning and now execution. Here I go… off into the land of opportunity!

      I have several clients recently who have followed me for since the summer of 2014 who hired me in the last few months. One was a large company and the other was Sylviane Nuccio. Sylviane recently said that after working with me she now understands why she couldn’t get specific enough on her own. She asked the same questions and made changes but the got the same results. To be honest, every client says that… It’s not as easy to do as it looks or sounds in my blog.

      I hope in the new year you can go beyond “asking” to “understanding” and that you can do it. Clarity will drive your business once you have a cohesive message that is creating and stated. It’s a massive game changer because of the influence that is created among those who get the message, relate to it and believe it.

      I’m looking forward to an amazing new year and I’m sure you are as well!

      See you soon on your blog!

      ~ Don

  11. Hi, Don

    Happy New Year and successful 2016.

    I am new in marketing. I search intensively the information about online marketing. Most of them concentrate on methods in marketing one particular SM platform. When I turn around and look at yours; those two words – message and influence of leadership hit home with me. I made all those mistakes”I”. “me”, “my’. both in business and in home.

    I will need to sit down and reflect on what steps I should take to serve the clients in 2016.

    Thanks for sharing your insight!

    -Stella Chiu

    1. Hi Stella,

      Happy New Year to you as well!!! It’s amazing, where did 2015 go?

      There are a lot of really good marketing websites and ideas out there. Unfortunately, most of them assume you know your business or they don’t care because they don’t really know their own either. The “I”, “me” and “we” syndrome runs rampant and we have to realize that a shift has to take place as I talked about in the article.

      If I can do anything for you or be a support for you, please don’t hesitate to let me know.

      I appreciate your openness and I’m confident you will have an awesome 2016 Stella!!!!

      ~ Don

  12. Hey Don,

    Happy New Year to you and yours.

    Very to the point message here and it’s so true.

    It is about influence and it’s also about making sure your message is crystal clear. When it is, you can influence your target audience even more and bring your business to heights never imagined.

    The thing about the homepage is true.

    I’m going through a brand relaunch and I’m figuring things out . . And having a for “them” homepage and how you can ease their frustrations is key.

    Great post and message and looking forward to see how Sylviane does.

    – Andrew

    1. Hi Andrew,

      Happy New Yer to you and yours as well! I hope it was refreshing and relaxing for you?

      I guess it is pretty to the point; but hey… that’s how I roll. LOL… 🙂

      I’m looking forward to seeing how you figure things out in your re-brand. If I can be of any help to you please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.

      FYI – Sylviane is gonna do fantastic. I just have a great feeling about her work and efforts through this process.

      Happy New Year again Andrew!

      ~ Don

  13. Don- you have been such a help and inspiration to so many of us. I would ask how you do it all, but I know from whom you draw your strength. 🙂

    I was just discussing this point about the “I” versus “we” with my friend last night. I am so guilty of this. I think part of my problem is that I’m a better learner than I am a teacher. So once I know something, I want to move on to learning something new. Or maybe I’m not sure how to share with others a way to replicate my non-linear path of education. This may be part of the issue. Is it possible that leadership influence it’s not everyone’s gift? Or is it a muscle, like anything else?

    In any case, I anxiously await your next webinar. I always walk away with great ideas after learning from you. I am grateful for you and wish you all great things in 2016!

    1. Hi Jen,

      I really appreciate your kind words! Your videos are coming along great. You are a very talented and inspirational person who is going to do some amazing things!!!! I’m excited for your and your future.

      We are all guilty of this and many times don’t see it for ourselves until someone points it out. If I take the point of view of personal leadership, we have to remember that it’s developed. So, talking in “I”, “me” and “we” feels natural and until that pattern is broken it can be hard to recognize.

      With that said, I don’t think learner vs teacher issue in your case. I think it’s a “learning process” and awareness thing. Hope that makes sense?

      Leadership and influence is really not a gift, it’s a developed trait. Even for those whom it comes more naturally there is a barrier where there are leadership traits that must be developed. In the military, we worked on this every single day. Honing our leadership skills, learning, training and then “being.”

      So, yes it is a muscle. (I love your choice of words here!)

      We are all going to do learn from one another and do great things in 2016. I want you to be in the mastermind for clients (free for everyone who is a client). We are all going to learn a lot from one another.

      Happy New Year Jen! Enjoy your time in Chicago!!!!!!

      ~ Don

  14. Hi Don,

    Wow, how glad I am to have hired you to get clear on what the heck my business is really about, because beside being much more clearer, I have you mentioning me here which is free publicity and who wouldn’t love that, right? LOL!

    It is fundamental to be clear about what we are doing and who we are doing it for. As we were discussing this subject for the past few weeks, you were telling me that you know of some folks who think they’ve gotten it, but they really haven’t. You see that clearly because that’s your expertise.

    It makes total sense to me, because at times I see people who “think” they got the law of attraction, for example, but they are proof to me that they really don’t.

    So having the expertise that you and I have in our respective field is great, but we must know whom our audience is and how we need to address them.

    Before the week is over I’ll have my new brand post up, and I can’t wait to see how this new voice of mine will resonate to people.

    Thank you for all the help you provide to me and everyone out there!


    1. Hi Sylviane,

      I’m so glad you did as well! It’s been a phenomenal experience working with you!!!! You are a great learner.

      My message is clear – don’t get the cart before the horse or you will get hurt. We have to learn the right leadership and influence in order to achieve our dreams and meet our goals. Developing those expertise is vital. You and I didn’t get here overnight. We developed the skills and insights through experiences, training and ongoing education.

      In other words, we invest in ourselves.

      I can’t wait to see your post!!!!

      Have a Happy New Year Sylviane.

      ~ Don

  15. Hey Don,

    Happy New Year and I hope you and your family had a wonderful holiday. I know you were focusing on a lot of things this past month and looks like you’re setting those in motion already.

    I had to chuckle when you were talking about revamping their sites for the new year. Yep, that’s me but as you know I’ve been talking about this for probably the past eight months. It was time for a change but with your help and expertise I was able to become much more clear on my own message as well.

    I agree, everything you have listed on your home page is possible when you have the right information. We fail because we aren’t reaching the right people with the right message. Understand that, learn how to resolve that issue and things can definitely start happening.

    I love this topic by the way and have a feeling that your upcoming webinar is going to be yet another great one. What you do has helped so many people and I just hope that those still floundering will finally realize you’re the one that can help them move forward.

    Great post Don as always and I’m off to share this one with my friends. Got to spread this around now.

    Have a great week and of course a fabulous year. Catch up with you soon.


    1. Hi Adrienne and Happy New Year!!!!

      Can you believe it’s 2016 already? It’s just crazy… We had a wonderful holiday and some much needed time off. I’m just starting to bring into focus what I learned and I’m implementing two new things this month:

      1. A new offline workshop in-person and locally. If you want to see it here is the link: http://www.unveiltheweb.com/how-make-your-marketing-thrive/

      2. A free mastermind for all my previous clients. I very much would love your participation and will send over some information soon.

      I’m excited to check out your website and will be headed over there soon. I so appreciate you very kind words as always. You are an inspiration my friend. Also, John Corcoran and I had a string of emails going and I’m chatting today with his assistant. Just an FYI!

      I would love to chat real soon. Let’s plan a call or I’ll just call you impromptu, lol… 🙂

      Happy New Year again!

      ~ Don

      1. I know Don, I can’t believe that 2015 is already a thing of the past. Just unbelievable to me but so happy to hear you enjoyed the holidays. One of these years I’m actually going to take the entire time off and enjoy myself. Ever since I started doing this I haven’t had time to relax, just get caught up on projects. That’s going to have to be one of my goals as I start getting closer to the end of the year.

        Wow, you have some great things in store. Congrats for the local event, I’m sure you’ll do well and fill up that room.

        Oh good, you’re going to do the mastermind. Well I’m all in so just let me know.

        I know you’ve been to my blog already and glad you like the new look. I’m sure there are some tweaks that can still be done but for now I’m happy.

        Oh wow, that’s awesome. I got an email from John this morning of course wishing me well for the new year but to see if he could do anything to help me with my next upcoming webinar which will be next week. He’s such a great guy and I’m so happy you two are chatting.

        We’ll definitely need to catch up. My year started off with more plumbing issues in my bathroom so they were out all yesterday afternoon and will be back again today in about 15 minutes. SO hoping they can get this resolved so I can use my facilities. Let’s set a time though, would love to chat with you.

        You enjoy your week and Happy New Year!


        1. Getting caught, and just catching my breath was such a big deal this year!!!! Things happen so fast that I’m finding if I don’t take the time I will caught up into “nothingness.” LOL…

          I talked today with John’s assistant Tony. We had a great conversation and we’ll see where we go from here; if anywhere. I believe he definitely sees the value in what I’m doing so I wait to hear back now. I’ll let you know when I hear something.

          Let’s chat this week. I’m free for most of it so if you have a time that’s preferable for you just let me know. I’ll shoot you an email.

          Hope that bathroom situation gets straightened out soon. That wouldn’t be any fun!

          ~ Don

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