You Can’t Build a Business by Yourself – Finding Friends Who Believe in You and Will Share Your Message!

Author : , Date : November 9, 2015



Is it possible to build a business by yourself? There was a time that I thought the best way to build my business was to run myself ragged.

I joined the local Chamber of Commerce; no wait, I joined four of them. If there was a meeting, I was there. If there was a networking group, I made sure to have as many business cards as I could on me and I never missed an opportunity to promote myself.

I became a member of a fantastic BNI group and EVERY Wednesday morning at 7:30 am I was there whether I wanted to be or not.

I spent hours meeting with other business owners, getting to know them and their business and figuring out how I could become their point person for referrals.

I was doing so much that it got to the point I was accomplishing nothing. I had to learn the hard way how to actually network and figure out how to connect with the right people who I could bring value to and help so that they would have a reason to do the same for me.

It’s No Different Online.

I see the very same things happening online… business owners are spinning themselves into oblivion just doing, doing, doing; and getting little if anything in return for their doing.


  • They are writing blog articles no one is reading.
  • Creating social media posts that no one are paying any attention to.
  • Making videos about how cool they are or how spectacular their product or service is.


Offline and online, the epidemic is that too many are trying to build their businesses by themselves by just creating a website and content across the web. They are completely disconnected to any sense of community or networking.


WARNING: No one has ever built a business by themselves.


We all need raving fans who help us spread our message. We need the help of others who believe in us and are willing to share us with their audiences if our long-term efforts are to be worth the investment in time, money and sacrifice to build a business and fulfill our dreams.

If you’re ready to learn how to give someone a reason to share your content, scream your name and tell their network why they need you then read on.

I believe that networking online is the single biggest, neglected form of marketing power you will ever do. Everything else pales in comparison when you understand how the internet really works. (You can learn more on the Begin Here page)


How are Raving Fans Created?


There are a lot of articles on the internet about how to create referral programs and raving fans. In my opinion, many of them woefully miss the mark.

Many of them will try to give you a step by step process of how to motivate someone to send you business. But the truth is many of them just don’t work. The reason they don’t work is because they lack a strong conversation around value; and value is what drives a business.

So what is value?

Value is simply this:


“Solve one problem (or meet one need or desire), for one person, with one solution per article.”


Creating value demonstrates competency and competency is why someone ultimate buys you. They believe that you can do for them what someone else can’t do; or through the competency building process you earn their trust and they like you over the competition. But it starts and ends with competency.

Instead of a process, allow me to share a philosophy that I believe will forever change the way you think about this?

Why a philosophy?

Because creating a raving fan is more about “being” than it is about creating.


So, here is my philosophy; when you are so competent and good at what you do that you forever change and better the lives of your website visitors, social media followers, email subscribers, prospects and customers they have no choice to but to share you with their world! They have no choice but to engage with you, get to know you, and appreciate what you do for them.

When you create value at this level you stand out immediately and are different.

That’s the philosophy. But there is more…

Now that you have a working philosophy what about a process?

Here is what I will say about that…

Raving fans are created through your value; and then through the value of your engagement.

It’s not about process, it’s about engagement and the value of engagement relative to the person you want to network with.

If you want value, you have to give value.

If want a raving fan, you have to become a raving fan!

It works both ways. It’s never a one-way street.


How Do I Get Someone to Become a Raving Fan?


Over the years there have been a number of things I’ve done to earn a raving fan.


  • I’ve sent a referral(s)
  • I helped them with a need at a discounted rate
  • I offered to help them with a need for free (but I always tell them what I want for it upfront)
  • I go out of my to promote them
  • I demonstrate that I care more about them than what I can get out of them


That last one is vitally important to understand.

If people believe we are only out to manipulate our way into something they will never accept our offers and give us a chance to do bring them value.

When you care about someone you give your best, and nothing short of your best.

You want a raving fan!!!

You want someone who has some influence to have a reason to tell their world how wonderful you are! They cannot and will not do that if you give them your mediocre best. This is your highest paying customer of all time!

They will introduce you to more people than you could ever meet on your own!

This is the reason you work so hard to bring them value. You want them to share their experience and story.


Some Examples of How This Works


How do you earn fans? Let me share just two examples of many:


Tim Kerin


My good friend Tim Kerin is a 26 year business owner of seven multi-million dollar businesses in the Washington D.C. area.

Tim and I met 38 months ago through a press release he discovered about me and then checked out my LinkedIn page.

He emailed me an introduction and initiated a call with me. We just hit it off right from the start.

I was living in Dallas, TX at the time and he happened to be in town so he and his wife attended the Saturday morning event I was putting on.



A few months later we moved a few hours away from him in Lancaster, PA.

He invited me to check out CORE Networking, a networking company that he co-owns. Immediately, I was drawn into this incredible group of business professionals and owners. I joined as web design and development professional and had a phenomenal experience.



During the group share time I tried to bring incredible value to the conversations and share tips, ideas and strategies that would help each business at a practical level. I earned a lot of business from the group.

In May of 2014 I got a referral to a large pharmaceutical company in Maryland who was in need of a website. It’s November 2015 and we are now signing a contract to build that site. It’s not something I normally do anymore but this one feels special and what a great competency building opportunity.

Since then, Tim has gone on to lead the Small Business Administration’s Emerging Leaders Initiative in the Washington D.C. area, and his new home in Costa Rica will be featured in HGTV’s “House Hunters International” this winter.

Here is the cool part, last year he started an Executive Roundtable with Learning Lessons in Business, a business he started to give executives and business leaders a place to talk about their challenges and needs.



In September 2015 Tim asked me to speak before the group. Tim was so pleased that he is hosting another event on November 17th with a much larger group that he has asked me to come and present another presentation titled “Blueprint of a Highly Successful Digital Marketing Presence.”



The September speaking event earned me an opportunity to potentially work with a consulting firm in the D.C. area.

Here is the point, Tim is not just a friend, he’s not just a mentor; he’s a raving fan who has been wonderful to me over-and-over again.

I built CORE’s website, built at least ten other websites through CORE, built a number of Tim’s websites (I love how came out) and through Tim’s influence and endorsement I’m earning the opportunity to coach and consult some really top brands.

In the spirit of value and networking, if you’re a business owner or entrepreneur who is struggling with business challenges and are in need of an entrepreneur coach and mentor I encourage you to check Tim out and learn how he can help you build a dynamic business!


Adrienne Smith


Adrienne SmithWhen I started the blog here on Unveil the Web in May 2014, I immediately began taking everything I learned over the years about creating value and networking online and putting it to practice.

I found Adrienne’s blog pretty quickly and as I read her work I realized how intelligent and inspiring she is and I was sucked right in. In fact, I wasn’t alone as Adrienne is known to get 100+ high quality comments per article on her blog.

She is just that engaging and fun!

I knew I would have to leave my most valuable comments for her to notice me.

It took a few months but slowly and consistently we began connecting until one day I felt comfortable enough to reach out to her by phone.

I had no agenda other than to get to know her.

Over the months we spoke several different times and I began to sense a friendship.

I wrote my first eBook titled “The Shift – Making the Fast Paced Transition from Mass Marketing to Context Marketing” and I asked her if she would read it and offer some feedback.






WOW! I got some phenomenal feedback from her.

So much so that about six weeks later she contacted me and said the book resonated with her so much that she wanted to talk with me.

And talk we did…. I had the fortunate opportunity to work with her because she realized that her message was completely off and that she had created something that appeared successful but it wasn’t successful in the way she wanted it to be.


In fact, our time together was so productive for her that just a few weeks ago she wrote a guest post here on my site talking about how our time together changed her business so much that she has more consultations and business than ever before. She has shared on her blog numerous times about my work and introduced me to many people.



If you’re a blogger for business and you know your message but you don’t understand how to create a dynamic blog for your business, I suggest you contact Adrienne on her website today. If anyone can help you build a dynamic blog, it’s Adrienne!


How I Got on a Fortune 500 Blog


I want to share briefly one other quick story. Late in the spring the battery in my car went out. I’m a big fan of Interstate Batteries so I went to the local Interstate Batteries store. While there I had a great conversation with the franchise owner and he went way above and beyond. So I wrote an article and mentioned him.




That article ended up on Interstate Batteries blog. This has been a phenomenal experience!!! Check it out here.




What Has Been My Results?


Absolutely PHENOMENAL!!!

Before I go any further, I want to share that are many more who have become raving fans and I raving fans of them because they create such amazing value. In addition, some of them have helped me by sharing my articles and helping me to earn tens of thousands of dollars that I would have never been able to do without them!

These are folks you might want get to check out their websites and I encourage you strongly to do so:


Michael Stricker (U.S. Marketing Director at SEMrush)

Ryan Biddulph

Donna Merrill

Ana Hoffman

Sylviane Nuccio

Tor Reflsand

Sherman Smith

Brent Jones


Where do you start?

Creating raving fans starts with having a clear, concise, relevant and meaningful message that brings value over-and-over again.

I won’t take the time to get into how to do that here, but here are a few articles that you can read on this subject or you can visit the “Begin Here” page:



Your message is your value and your value is your message! According the 2015 B2B Web Usability Report the #1 reason someone leaves a website immediately is because of a lack of message.

IBM just came out with a study that said nearly 80 percent of consumers feel the average brand doesn’t understand them as an individual.

Value starts with the eye of the beholder based on their problems, needs or desires.

If you want to sway them to become raving fans who will share you with their audience you will have to learn how to message to them (i.e. not talk about yourself) and deliver your message in a way that leaves them so much better off for you being in their lives.


By now I hope I’ve shown that just creating and sharing content alone will not work to help you build a business. It takes others through helping them be successful.

If you create that kind of value, they will take your message and propel you to new heights as they talk about how competent and wonderful you are!

Believe me, it’s easier for others to sell me than it is to sell myself. Instant validation and credibility from others is HUGE and much more profitable long-term!


If you want to learn more about networking and creating raving fans I have an entire chapter dedicated to this subject in my new eBook titled “The 7 Invincible Laws of Business Blogging Success.

It’s available for pre-order right now at the incredible high price of .99 cents.


Click here and learn more about the book.


Do you know you have a problem with messaging? Click here now and learn more about my affordable six week 1-on-1 coaching program where I will help you transform your message and business just like I did with Adrienne Smith.



If you have a comment, idea or contribution you want to make to this article, please leave it in the comments below and let’s chat.

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Don Purdum

Don Purdum

Don works with businesses to help them discover who their customers are and what business they are "really" in. He is an award-winning blogger and branding / marketing consultant.
Don Purdum
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21 thoughts on “You Can’t Build a Business by Yourself – Finding Friends Who Believe in You and Will Share Your Message!

  1. Hi Don,

    “If you want value you have to give it”

    That statement kind of says it all doesn’t it? “You get what you give” or my favorite “You get out of it, what you put into it” can be used in the same context.

    You cannot not build a business on your own, you need help and who better than to have raving fans of yours to do that for you. It’s clear to see why you have had the success you have in a short period of time. You bring your “A” game consistently when it comes to value in your blog posts, but really in your comments on other blogs which I see all the time. Kudos to you for that and we should all take a cue from you there.

    You had mentioned your interactions with Adrienne and how it took a few months, but slowly and consistently you began connecting until you reached out by phone, and the rest is history shall we say.

    Slowly and consistently is how you should approach your networking efforts online as that is how someone will potentially become a raving fan. Take the long haul approach to your networking efforts. You may make head way with others in a shorter time period, but for the majority it is going to take some time. Works the same offline as well.

    Great stuff Don!


    1. Hi Kurt,

      Absolutely, I love all those phrases and they are similar and relevant.

      It really comes back to giving others what they want so that we can earn what we want. Zig Ziglar said it best; “You can everything in life you want if you help enough people get what they want.”

      I really appreciate your kind words and for affirming that you notice I give what I want.

      It’s funny, I was just talking with a friend yesterday about networking. He owns seven multi-million dollar businesses and all of them were built through networking.

      Networking is not an event, it’s a process. It’s a process of getting to know one another, giving one another value, building competency and earning trust that translates into liking one another. That can take a long time.

      Blogging is a team sport. I made this video today where I talked about this very issue yesterday at a roundtable in Washington DC.

      I appreciate your comment Kurt and thank you so much again for the very kind words.

      ~ Don

      1. Don,

        Thank you for featuring my comment. I do appreciate it. You’re definitely consistent in giving what you want for sure. Being consistent is extremely vital.

        “Earning” trust is key, but more importantly the word “earning”. You have to earn someone’s trust, you have to earn their time, you have to earn their attention. That does take a lot of time. No question about it.

        I was not able to view the video at this moment, but I’ll try again later. It has to do with my internet connection I believe.

        Have a great weekend Don.


  2. Hi Don,

    Thanks SO much for the mention 🙂

    “I was doing so much that it got to the point I was accomplishing nothing.”

    That line drips with wisdom. It’s kinda the opposite of my life now. Kinda. I do little. Really. I play a bunch. On days where I do more stuff, it’s relaxed, detached and playful, and goodness gracious, I’m naturally helping folks out for free and for premium and not looking for stuff in return. Like how you connected with Adrienne. Your intent wasn’t agenda driven. You wanted to make friends. You wished to learn.

    I feel we are all connected as One. I feel we have it all, already, and that we just allow more miraculous things into our lives when we cease doing, start being, and when we foster those bonds and friends who we were connected to in the first place. What a beautiful journey Don. So grateful to have bonded with you and @disqus_oYX9SLCVrj:disqus and @donna_tribe:disqus and all of my wonderful friends.


    1. Hi Ryan,

      You’re so welcome! I think that it’s great you feel the freedom to enjoy your life and you’re still making great headwind!!!! What a true inspiration.

      That’s right, no intent behind it except to make a difference and in the process I earned a friend and raving fan!!!!

      I’m grateful for you as well Ryan. I’m including you in my new eBook and hope to send you free copy soon!!!

      ~ Don

  3. Hi Don,

    For sure you’ve done something right and things started to fall into place for you.

    I am taking a little break from blogging because I wanted to concentrate of other important things, but when I start blogging again I will come stronger than ever. Nobody needs to blog for blogging, there must be a purpose and some serious results because of it.

    Congratulations on your new e-book.

    Have a great day, and thanks for the mention.


    1. Hi Sylviane,

      Thank you so much, yes some things happened right for me; and meeting you and so many others has been a big part of that Sylviane.

      I have NO doubt that when you come back onto the scene in the very near future you’re going to EXPLODE with positive results!!!!

      I have never thought of it like that but you are so absolutely right… “Nobody needs to blog for blogging, there must be a purpose and some serious results because of it.”

      I think another way of saying it that I relate to is no one should just be going through the motions.

      Thanks so much for your friendship, support and encouragement Sylviane.

      I hope you have an amazing week!

      ~ Don

  4. Hey Don,

    This was an awesome post. It’s almost impossible to try to build the business on your own … That’s its important to try to make as many friendships and build as much meaningful relationships as you possibly can.

    Through my two years of blogging, I’ve made a lot of friendships with individuals online and I really don’t think I would’ve been at this point in my career without those relationships I built.

    For the most part, we all want the same thing so we should find those that are able to help us that want the same exact goals so we can all achieve the same things.

    Awesome stuff, Don.

    – Andrew

    1. Hi Andrew,

      Thank you so much. That means a lot to me coming from you!!!!

      It is impossible! I see no way one can build a successful business on their own. I’ve seen way to many try and every single one has failed.

      You have been blessed with a fantastic community Andrew and I’m grateful to be a part of it. Your friendship has blessed me immensely and I’m grateful I came across your path in the summer of 2014.

      I couldn’t agree more; ultimately we want the same things. So, in my mind if I want something I have to be something… in the case if I want raving fans, I have to be a raving fan.

      Thanks for your friendship and support Andrew!

      Have an awesome week.

      ~ Don

  5. Hi Don,

    I’ve noticed a few themes that not only relate to blogging, but to life in general.
    Authenticity and community being two of them.

    You exemplified both of these concepts beautifully in this post, in addition to the other ones of yours that I’ve read so far.

    I had gotten into blogging a few years ago, and I can see who is obviously still involved in this community – and how everyone’s relationships have only deepened over time.

    Whether I visit Adrienne’s, Donna’s, Sherman’s or Sylviane’s blogs, I have gotten to know who they are and how they relate to people by being themselves and bringing value to their readers. They haven;t strayed from this either, which I find refreshing.
    I’ve learned a lot from all of them.

    I look forward to learning from you as well – especially since I’ve just gotten your book.
    I’ll start reading it tonight.
    Have a good week 🙂

    1. Hi Dana,

      First, I’m so honored that you ordered a pre-copy of my eBook. I hope you find it over-the-top valuable and helpful to your business!!!!

      I think you are so right about themes being true in our lives. In reality, our blogs, content and comments are a direct reflection of ourselves and who we really are – or at least they should be!

      Each one of these I mentioned have become near and dear to me over the last 18 months. The friendships, support and even a few have become clients like Adrienne and Sylviane.

      They are amazing people for sure and I’m honored to be a part of their community – and I’m blessed to become a part of yours. I love what you share on your blog and I will be by soon.

      I appreciate your kind words and feedback Dana!!!! I hope you have a fantastic week.

      ~ Don

  6. Hey Don,

    Great message here. Marketing reciprocation will take you beyond your wildest dream. That’s why it’s so important to network with others. Especially if they’re in the same niche.

    I learned about 3rd party validation when I use to be in network marketing. I really didn’t see the value of it back then but now I see how it can propel your personal brand and result in more business sales for you. It’s hard selling yourself as you mention. This is why network and becoming raving fans to those who return the favor is so important.

    Thanks for sharing Don! Have a good one!

    1. Hi Sherman,

      Networking marketing is such a powerful thing when done right. I think I may have mentioned to you before that I believe every business is in network marketing. The principles are always there.

      I used to ask what is more important; what you say about you or what others say about you?

      The 3rd party validation is critical for our success. In fact it’s so critical that I had some local business owners ask me what comments on my site were so important to me. I asked them what offered more validation – a website and business that was engaging and inviting or one that was a ghost town?

      Comments are a leading form of not just engagement, but also non-threatening opportunities at creating more content that gives people a reason to become fans and ultimately raving fans!

      I appreciate you Sherman and I hope you have a wonderful week!

      ~ Don

  7. Hey Don,

    I definitely agree with you that you can’t do this alone. I stumbled upon this myself although I knew that I needed to make some connections online in order to get myself out there more. Little did I realize though that just by giving so much value to my audience that they would appreciate it SO much that they were the ones shouting my name from the rooftops. Of course I went out of my way to help them as much as I could not asking for anything in return. Sometimes that’s what it takes.

    I love the examples you gave here including how we made that initial connection as well. If only more people truly understood that’s all it really takes. I think at times that phone call or Skype call is huge, it’s what helps you make a more personal connection which we all know can help towards a start to a wonderful friendship. It doesn’t always pan out that way but you’ll never know until you try.

    I do think though what you mentioned that you do to make them a raving fan is important. What people need to realize though that you do it because you want to genuinely help them and although we’ll admit we would love something in return it’s not a necessity. Not for me at least but that’s why I think people are so drawn to me too because they know I truly do care about their needs and I’m not out to “take” anyone for anything.

    We need raving fans to help spread the word about what we do, who we are and how we can help others. When you do what you’ve suggested here it’s not hard to start getting some of them on your side.

    Good article topic today Don and thanks for mentioning our connection as well. Not only am I a raving fan but I’m a friend now too. Win/win all around. (((wink wink)))


    1. Hi Adrienne,

      I have to say upfront that I value your friendship above all else now! That is one benefit to this is that we can create value that leads to friendship and I personally value that immensely!

      That personal connection is so important, in fact it’s the key in my opinion to making all the networking successful. There is a time when we go beyond just sharing and commenting.

      I’m so glad you stressed the issue of making sure people know we genuinely care and that strings are not attached. In my mind it’s all about giving people options and allowing them the freedom to buy us without feeling pressured or coerced. People can see through us pretty fast and if they feel we are only in it for ourselves; they are going to walk away, as they should.

      Ultimately we all want the same things – and if we want raving fans I really wanted to stress that we have to be raving fans.

      Thanks so much for your friendship, support and encouragement. It means the world to me Adrienne and I cherish it and you.!!!

      Have a wonderful week.

      ~ Don

  8. Hi Don,

    First of all, thanks for coming and checking out my site. Love the valuable comment you left, always appreciated.

    I could not agree more with, well the entire article. It has been my strategy the last few months to get clients on the phone, provide them with some “quick wins” so I can prove my knowledge. Once they see I know what I am talking about and how much I can help their business in just a few minutes, well they have to hire me.

    I don’t do this just to get clients even though it works really well. I genuinely enjoy helping people with their websites and getting them to the next level. I have made a lot of great connections this way.

    While I have been extremely successful using this tactic online and over skype, I am “scarred” to try it in person. I have recently been trying to get more local clients, but am having trouble networking. I am a master at it when I am behind the screen, but in person I have trouble!

    Any tips? For now I have been going with the practice makes perfect theory…

    Great read, will be back for more,

    1. Hi Chris,

      It’s great to see you here! Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts and vulnerabilities.

      I think it’s just a matter of confidence. I find that most people that are successful offline are not confident online and vice versa.

      It’s the exact same thing regardless, it’s just the tools that are different.

      If you do it behind the screen well I know you can do it in person. I think many feel more vulnerable in person and that somehow the stakes are higher. But the truth is it’s no different.

      Value is still value, right?

      I think there is also a subconscious, or maybe conscious, level in our minds when we are talking to people we could meet in the grocery store or at the mall. It comes with heightened accountability and when we are behind the screen those things we don’t have to think about.

      But you’re great at what you do and those who are local and nearby should be just as deserving to work with you as those who are hundreds or thousands of miles away.

      I hope that helps Chris?

      Again, it’s wonderful to see you here! Thank you so much for stopping by and I look forward to getting to know you!

      Have a great week!

      ~ Don

      1. Heck yeah it helps. Can I get you to tell me all that before going to a meetup… I will be honest, I have yet to get to one. I need to just do it!

        I think the biggest fear I have is sounding too “salesy”. At least on the phone the worst that can happen is they hang up. In person, well they might laugh, or walk away and leave me there on the dance floor…

        I feel like this is the missing piece from my business. I know I can bring even more to the table with local clients, I can actually visit their business.


        1. One way to keep from being salesy is to focus on providing “value” that is consistent with your message. I start by talking with people in the room before the meeting and learn a little about them and their needs. See if you can find a few common themes.

          Then, don’t talk directly about what you do but about a common problem you solve through a story. You can do that in 30-60 seconds.

          If you focus on value, you won’t be salesy. They may come out and tell you that they want to learn more.

          ~ Don

  9. Hi Don,

    I firmly believe that we cannot build a business by ourselves. It takes a “tribe” (pardon the pun) in order to get those raving fans. In order to create our fan base, we have to first give to others. Sometimes the most simplest things get unnoticed don’t they?

    We start out by giving our honest opinion when we read someone’s blog post. We comment on it, share it to our friends and that is the first step when we are blogging. Never fake it! It has to be genuine and eventually connections can be made. You have illustrated this so well with the connection you have made with Adrienne.

    I love your story about the car battery. All you did was express your idea about how well it works to the franchise owner and there you are! Ta Da! It is a mindset and part of our personalities. When we come across something we like, we say it. Again Simple right?

    But that is what gets us noticed. And again I have to stress it has to be genuine. I do this stuff all the time offline and get the “jaw dropped” face in reaction he he he. People are not used to others praising them, their work, their business, etc. But when we do it is received with gratitude and appreciation. And this is the little secret of how to get that energy back in return. It is just one step…one kind word…and there ya go!

    Looking forward to your next book. Keep on going are an inspiration to us all.


    1. Hi Donna,

      You are absolutely right! And the more success you want the more you have to intentionally build that tribe.

      Couldn’t agree more, the simplest things that are right in front of us tend to be the most obvious, yet the hardest to see.

      It reminds me of the person who is trying to look through the forest but can’t because a tree is right in front of them. Start there…

      Being genuine and authentic is key! Again, you make a fantastic point!!!! We cannot fake our way through this. We have to be who we are at all times.

      I love networking and here is an interesting observation about what you said in your comment – I think businesses have gotten so used to be derided and because it seems the only time someone talks about a business online is when it’s negative.

      When something positive is said; BOOM! They crave it, need it and want it. And they deserve it!!!!!!!

      The other side of that is that it makes us stand out as well.

      Thanks so much for your kind words and for your generous comment.

      I appreciate you Donna and I hope you have a wonderful week!

      ~ Don

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